Coping When a Spouse Gets Sick and You are a Stay at Home Mom

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Michael was always the guy who was healthy. He never found a reason to go to the doctor. He would joke around that his part Polish genes made him “strong like bull”.

Then one day in July 2011 he was mysteriously bitten by a tick and got Lyme disease. After that first attack of Lyme disease, Michael never quite recovered and he got bit again by an infected tick and he got Lyme disease for the second time.

He is in the road to recovery, but his immune system seems to have taken a little beating making him susceptible to other ailments like strep throat, body aches, stomach issues, etc..

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How do you cope when your spouse become ill? When we got married we recited the vows, “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

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I take my vows seriously, but when you are a stay at home Mom, and you have a sick spouse fear can sometimes get in the way. Here are some steps to get over being worried (you can also use it to prevent worrying during spousal illnesses):

1. Tell your spouse how you feel – At first I was going to tell Michael everything was going to be fine, but then I told him my true feelings of being scared. I felt better that I was able to “let the cat out of the bag” and he felt better that I was being completely honest.

2. Allow yourself to be a little mad – I wasn’t mad at Michael for getting sick, because that was uncontrollable. I am mad at those darn infected ticks! Okay, and maybe at Michael a little for getting sick!

Adult deer tick, Ixodes scapularis.

Image via Wikipedia

3. Use humor to make yourself feel better – Since Michael’s illness is out of our hands we have just tried to laugh at anything to make ourselves feel better. Our kids are pretty goofy so they supply the much needed comic relief.

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4. Count your blessings – We are happy that Michael is undergoing treatment and that the rest of the family is healthy.

5. Reassure each other and your children – Make sure to tell each other how much you love one another. Love conquers everything, especially fear of your spouse being sick. Reassure your children that everything will be fine as the little ones are usually very sensitive to changes in their environment.

6. Make sure you save up for a rainy day – This is a key ingredient for feeling happy and less worried about your spouse getting sick when you are a stay at home Mom. If you know there are funds for a rainy day then things will all be okay.

7. Pray to God – Prayer and faith in God has helped us through trying moments. There is a saying, “Faith or fear? If you have faith you won’t be scared.”

I hope you have a wonderful and healthy day!

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13 Comments

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13 Responses to Coping When a Spouse Gets Sick and You are a Stay at Home Mom

  1. Miss you Amy! Let’s get together next week. Ps. I just made my last grilled cheese for awhile. I am officially tired of them!

  2. Tito Bautista

    I hope Michael gets over this and be that Polish Bull once again. TLC is definitely the doctors order.

  3. Oh, I was totally annoyed at my husband when he got sick. I understood he didn’t feel better- but, it’s hard to be compassionate when we gut through our illnesses routinely. I heard that women tend to handle being sick better because we feel awful every month for a few days- There may be truth to that. :)

    • Hi! I am so happy to find someone else who feels the same way. I don’t feel so selfish about being a little mad! I wonder if women do handle things a little better because of our monthly friend…

      Thanks for visiting!

      Cheers,
      Louise

  4. Island traveler

    I hope your husband’s health will bounce back to full recovery. I know what you mean. It is hard to stay home and help a family get better. It’s scary and can be stressful. Those advises are helpfull in so many ways. Take care. Best wishes….

    • Thank you Island Traveler. Our faith that he will be better has really helped us. Now it’s just up to me to keep the kids busy and not pay attention to their tired Dad!

      Have a great day!

      Cheers,
      Louise

  5. Oh boy do i understand!! My son had Lyme twice. He now has lupus. hubby has had his own varied health issues and i have had bells palsy. so between the 3 of us we have all had to be caretakers and have had our share of being supportive yet mad. i wish you and your husband health, prayers, and love

    • Kate, the prayers are much appreciated! That is what is helping us out. Lyme disease is tough. Now that Michael has had it twice I have really been doing more research on it to give myself a deeper understanding and compassion about it.

      Thank you so much for visiting. God Bless!

      cheers,
      Louise

  6. Peter and I are praying for Michael. He is definitely surrounded by a loving family.

    • Thanks Ange and Peter. Remember that book you were telling me about Lyme disease and Amy Chan? Apparently she had a really severe case, but has survived so I have faith Michael will improve.

      Daryll Hall is another survivor with a positive story.

      Thanks for the prayers!

      Cheers,
      Louise

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