Dragon Parents Love Their Kids Without Expectations


Last month I read an article in the New York Times by Emily Rapp, self proclaimed “Dragon Parent”.

Image from the Huffington Post

She and her husband have a toddler who is terminally ill.  Ms. Rapp says that, “Ronan won’t prosper or succeed in the way we have come to understand this term in our culture; he will never walk or say “Mama,” and I will never be a tiger mom.”

She and her husband have no expectations for their child except to be loved.  They try to cherish each day as special.  Ms.  Rapp says, “Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.”

They have created a new terminology called “Dragon Parents”.dragonmom

She says, “We are dragon parents: fierce and loyal and loving as hell. Our experiences have taught us how to parent for the here and now, for the sake of parenting, for the humanity implicit in the act itself, though this runs counter to traditional wisdom and advice.”

Ms. Rapp was primarily speaking about parents with kids who are sick, but I think her “dragon parent” terminology can be relatable to parents with healthy kids.  Children should be loved for their inherent being rather than just loved for their level of succeeding and performing.

I am blessed with kids that are healthy.  When I see  myself getting disappointed because they did not act a certain way, do a certain task or listen, I think back to this article.

A child’s main role, especially when they are in their formative years, is just to be loved.

I am trying to be a “dragon parent” because I want to love my children and bring them up without expectations.  I do not need them to measure up to others because they are amazing in their own right.

Massimo and Rocco, my November babies, Happy Birthday to you both! (Especially to you Rocco who was born today!)




Filed under Family & Relationships, Illustrations, Parenthood

9 Responses to Dragon Parents Love Their Kids Without Expectations

  1. Amy Flory Grotzke via Facebook

    Happy birthday Rocco! And God bless the Rapp family.

  2. I don’t like to use the term dragon parents because I have a friend who was literally raised in a cave by dragons and he finds it offensive to hear other people using the term.

  3. My 19 yr old son was diagnosed w/ Aspergers. I have been Dragon Parenting for all that time without knowing it. I listened, researched, read everything I could about PDD, Autism, & Aspergers. So many Dr’s, teachers, & well meaning parents told me so many things to do w/ my son, I was overwhelmed! One school wanted me to strap him in a special made chair (looked like a medieval device) – they were doing this at school to try & force him to speak. I refused to do this at home (I would cry watching it at school). I decided I & home would be his safe place. My job as a Mom would be to love & accept him – unconditionally. He has grown & excelled, attended a semester of college successfully, is working with the BRS to find a career. I can honestly say I am happy with my decision to put loving him as my first priority. GO DRAGON MOMS!!!!

    • Hi Violet! Reading your comment gave me goose bumps. You are such a great Mom. Your son is so lucky to have you. Thank goodness you went with your gut and guided him with love.

      There are notable figures, like Bill Gates, who have lived and thrived with Aspergers. With your support I am sure your son will thrive and excel.

      Have a great day!


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